Author Topic: hard to be social  (Read 1348 times)

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PeaceBear

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hard to be social
« on: March 18, 2013, 09:40:55 AM »
I have no social life at the moment. I dont know how to go about meeting new friends. I need new ones big time since all my old friends have virtually disappeared from my life for one reason or the other. Such as with family job and husband they are too busy, one gone from a misunderstanding and she never looked back, and some other friends moved.

So now Im left alone with only a couple friends that we only send a text now and then or a  call. We dont get together and they are not ones I can count on or call up just to chat.

I never had trouble making friends years ago and had many everywhere and now its very difficult to even think of going out and about and meeting new people. Part of this is due to my being quiet and kind of shy around people, I dont do well in crowds due to anxiety.

I need a social life and to be out around other people especially since when I have too much time on my hands my mind goes into over drive with scary thoughts that give me anxiety and thinking of the future does it too.

Please advise. Hugs   :P ::) ;D

DrFreedman

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Re: hard to be social
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2013, 12:54:39 PM »
Dear PeaceBear,

It is important to socialize, as it takes one out of their own head and worried thoughts.

The best way to meet friends is to immerse yourself in something you love to do. This way, you will find others who share similar interests. One criteria for finding and being a good friend is learning how to ask the right questions and being a good listener. Even the most severely shy individual can learn how to apply this skill. Showing interest in another is being there for them and sharing part of yourself with them as well. True confidence is learning how to be yourself and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Once this is firmly established, the pieces of the puzzle come together.

Therefore:
- Place yourself in a situation where you are with others that share similar interests: Gym, Park, Hobbies, Volunteering, Politics, Neighborhood Projects, Religious groups.
- Ask questions and learn the fine art of listening.
- Be Yourself...and eventually socializing becomes comfortable as your confidence grows.

Best of luck,

Dr. Ronnie Freedman
Anxiety and Depersonalization Recovery Treatment
drfreedman@ronniefreedmanphd.com
http://www.ronniefreedmanphd.com
Office Hours: 10:00 AM - 10:00 PM (EST)
Order Line: 1-800-670-4673
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 12:56:30 PM by DrFreedman »

PeaceBear

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Re: hard to be social
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2013, 06:19:43 PM »
This is good advice and makes sense. I just have to be brave enough to put myself out there. But it wont happen if I dont  try. Hugs, PeaceBear ;D